Rebel With A Cause
by copywritten
Summary: Elena Gilbert has been in love with Damon Salvatore since the 7th grade despite their four year age difference. But when her mother died & he graduated high school she sort of forgot about him. Now, A year later Elena is regularly getting high & wrecking more cars than a crash test dummy when a chance encounter brings Damon back into her life. But many obstacles stand in their way.
1. My Skin

**Rebel With A Cause**

_- She's so good at being bad-_

* * *

**Chapter One**

**-My Skin-**

_I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable_

_I'm a slow dying flower  
Frost killing hour  
the sweet turning sour  
and untouchable-_

* * *

_She had fucked up yet again. She was in trouble, again. It was always like this. Just when she began to foolishly trick herself into believing that things would get better, they always got__** worse. **_This morning was no different.

The white clouds of smoke seeped out profusely from her car engine as a drunken and unbalanced Elena swayed, trying to keep her balance as she pulled out her phone to call her brother Jeremy. He would know what to do. Jeremy always knew what to do in these situations. He'd had enough experience with them to be an expert by now.

It was in the dead of the night and perfectly silent outside except for her sputtering, choking, engine. The quietude of the night was unsettling and Elena quickly felt the need to fill it. Giggling at nothing at all, Elena's unfocused eyes stared at her father's broken down car. The car she had stolen earlier that day so that she could drive it to Matt Donovan's party. And now the car sat in a steaming pile of utter mess.

She had done it_ again_ she had gotten so drunk and fucked up off marijuana that she had crashed her third car this year. The tree, in which she had smashed into, loomed ahead of her illustrating just how small and helpless she'd felt this past year since her mom had passed away. Her father, her friends, everyone thought that she got high because she was just acting out over her moms death. The truth was, being high was the only thing she could do that she felt in control of. It was also the only thing that suppressed the inexplicable pain she felt.

"Hello?" Jeremy's voice thick with grogginess, answered from the other end of the phone.

"Jerrrrrrr" Elena slurred laughing uncomfortably as she staggered slightly.

"Elena what the hell its 4 am" Jeremy seethed, angry at having been stirred from his peaceful slumber. It was too late for Elena's bullshit and he had a mid-term in the morning.

Elena grimaced at the shortness in his tone, exhaling nervously. She was apprehensive about answering his question.

Jeremy's ire was evident, his voice thick with hostility. It was obvious that he didn't feel like being bothered with her. _Her own brother_ didn't feel like being bothered with her. The realization was nearly sobering and it almost broke through the numbness she had protectively surrounded herself in. Self-preservation had hardened her resolve over the last year though, so his words only stung a little bit. Still, they stung. It also didn't help that he was fed up with her. Everyone was.

"Jer I got so fucked up and I had sooooo much fun" Elena purposefully ignored Jeremy's fury, completely uncaring of the fact that she was inconveniencing his sleep.

That's why she liked being drunk and high. It was numbing. It veiled her eyes to everything that was happening around her, allowed her to shut off her emotions like a light switch.

"What did you do now?" Jeremy growled angrily. The only time Elena called him nowadays was when she wanted something or when she was in trouble. Either way, it was never good news with her. He silently braced himself for her latest catastrophe.

"I'm in trouble" _He knew it. _

"What else is new? What is it this time? Drugs? Stranded? Or maybe you need me to come pick you up from jail _again _for driving while drunk without a license" He hissed, the tone of his voice rising with each word.

"I didn't do anything Jeremy. It wasn't my fault-" Let Elena tell it, it was never her fault. She had zero accountability for her actions. Ever the martyr, the whole world was to blame for her problems. Jeremy was so sick of her shit.

"It was the tree it came out of nowhere I think its out to get me" Elena garbled amusedly, attempting to lighten the tensed mood. This was her second time hitting the _same_ tree and even her stodgy older brother had to find some type of amusement in the irony. He didn't.

"What? " Jeremy shouted, nearly waking up his sleeping girlfriend Anna who lay beside him.

"You gotta be kidding me Elena AGAIN! Seriously? What the fuck is your problem you need to chill yourself"

"Chill myself" Elena mocked laughing at his words.

"Look Jer I don't need a lecture I need a ride can you come get me or what?" Elena asked, refusing to even acknowledge her actions, which further pissed Jeremy off.

_He couldn't believe her. She was so fucking inconsiderate._

Jeremy was livid. He seriously contemplated hanging up the phone on his drunken sister who seemed hell-bent on self-destruction. But no matter how angry Jeremy was, he knew the reason for Elena's actions. He also knew he could never leave his sister stranded on a dark road somewhere. No matter how fucked up she was.

"My car is in the shop Elena remember you sort of ran into on your last bender," He snarled disgustedly." But I can ask my roommate to take you home hold on" Jeremy said placing Elena on a brief hold. She listened absently to the sound of him moving around in the background and speaking to someone in a hushed tone.

Elena sat idly on the hood of her smoking car aimlessly playing with strands of her hair, as she wanted for Jeremy to get back on the phone.

"Yeah Elena Damon's going to come pick you up. Is your phone ok on juice so it doesn't die before he come and gets you? " Jeremy asked worriedly. His sister was alarmingly irresponsible and rarely ever charged her phone.

" Ok who the fuck is Damon? I don't know him. Why can't YOU use his car to come get me?" Elena snapped, starting to get annoyed with her brother. She hated when he played the big brother card and acted pseudo-concerned. She could take care of her self and she didn't want or need anyone's concern _or pity._

" Because contrary to what you think the whole world doesn't revolve around you. Its 4 am, I have a mid-term in the morning. And Anna is sick with the flu. And I don't have time for this. So do you want him to come pick you or not?" Jeremy assured her.

"Fine whatever " Elena mumbled before abruptly hanging up the phone on her brother.

Jeremy stared at the phone for a few seconds wondering why he even bothered.

()()()()()

The silence of the night enveloped Elena causing her to nearly go crazy with its stillness. She resented the silence because with the silence came her thoughts and with her thoughts came the guilt. No matter how much she tried to evade the guilt, it always managed to creep in. Staring up at the black canvas of the sky, an image of her mother's smiling face flitted across her mind. _Fuck_ she needed to get high some more so that she could force these thoughts out.

The shrill ringtone coming from her phone suddenly jolted her out of her thoughts, providing her with momentary reprieve. It was Jeremy's friend calling.

"Yeah is this the unfortunate soul who was forced to come pick up Jeremy's baby sister" Elena taunted drunkenly.

"Nope this would be the pissed off soul whose upset they got woken up out of their sleep to come get your drunk ass, I'm on Wickery Bridge where are you" The deep voice growled. He sounded so sexy Elena couldn't help but think despite the annoyance she was feeling towards him.

"I'm right before the bridge ends smart ass" She retorted hanging up the phone.

_Did I not just text him exact location? Why is he asking dumb questions? _Elena pondered exasperatedly.

Tucking her hands into the pockets of her hoody, Elena shivered slightly from the growing cold air as she waited for the sarcastic stranger to come and get her. Soon, she saw the headlights in the distance growing and getting closer to where she stood. She was relieved to soon be out of this cold air. She was also starting to sober up and she needed to get to her stash quickly to fix that.

This Damon guy, whoever he was, drove a silver Ferrari and as the car neared her, Elena couldn't help but roll her eyes at the flagrant display of money.

_Jeremy's roommate was probably one of those guys who wore gel in his hair, talked fast, and thought he was God's gift to women, _Elena mused.

The car finally stopped on the side of her the windows tinted "Its About time " Elena yelled, reaching to yank the door open. But the car drove slightly ahead causing Elena to reflexively jump back slightly.

"What the hell?" She bellowed, walking up to the car and just as she got to it again he drove off slightly again. Folding her arms across her chest like a mulish child. Elena frowned, refusing to walk after the car again. The car reversed and the window rolled down. Elena could hear this Damon guy laughing riotously. "Ok- Ok I quit" He managed between laughs.

"Very funny dick" Elena remarked sarcastically, getting a look at him for the first time. He seemed so familiar. But she could still barely make out his features that were shrouded in the darkness of his car.

_Who was he?_

**This Chapter has been edited and is slightly different from the original posting. I didn't like some small things about it so I changed it around.**


	2. Ungodly Hour

**Chapter Two**

Don't talk, don't say a thing'

Cause your eyes, they tell me more than your words

Don't go, don't leave me now'

Cause they say the best way out is through

Elena stomped angrily over to the sleek car, yanking his door open with a force that gave testament to the anger she felt. Crossly, she slid into the heated seats and turned to berate him but lost her train of thought, and all other thoughts because it was kind of impossible to think with her favorite pair of blue eyes staring back at her.

Her heartbeat accelerated, her breath caught in her throat, it was _Damon_ Salvatore. The man of her dreams,_ literally_.

"So you're Jeremy's kid sister huh? Heard a lot about you" That soft thud sound? That was the sound of her heart dropping at the fact that he didn't remember her, at the fact that he had referred to her as a kid. And even though his expression was teasing and amicable, she knew that he really did look at her as a kid. Which pathetically, was progress. At least she had gone from never being looked at, at all, to being looked at as a kid. Would he ever see her the way that she wanted him to?

Damon Salvatore had been the object of her schoolgirl crush for so many years. Even If she hadn't always known him, hadn't always loved him, her eyes would've still followed him around the space of the car the way they did now.

He had that kind of appeal, the kind that was effortless and compelling, the kind that drew you in and made you never want to leave his presence. Not only was he gorgeous, with his raven black hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to take in everything and miss nothing at all, but also he was one of those people who were impossible to dislike.

There was a presence, and aura about him that made him impossible to ignore, impossible not to want or even love. None of what he did was contrived and it made him totally irresistible.

And she had watched it all from her perch throughout the years, waiting restlessly for the day he would notice her, hoping for the courage to voice her feelings.

She had been in love with him for three years, since the seventh grade. Since the first time she had seen him fluidly moving across the football field, the crowd heartily cheering his name.

She had been attending her brother's first big football game of the season, and instead of watching her brother like she was supposed to be doing, her eyes had been glued to the quarterback Damon Salvatore.

He had moved with agility and grace that was hard not to notice, and even with his helmet on and his face hard to distinguish, Elena had still been intrigued.

She had watched him in utter fascination as she heard the high school girls who sat near her gushing about the object of her fascination. "Damon is so hot" One of the girls had giggled.

"Totally! And his dad is like super rich. He practically owns half the town" Her friend chimed in. Elena's curiosity grew even more after the overhearing the girl's conversation, to the point she thought she'd die of anticipation.

Her curiosity was more than satisfied when Damon finally took off his helmet at half time. Elena couldn't help but smile in total adoration as her eyes hungrily admired his handsome features. And in that instant blossomed in her an unyielding and consuming love for Damon Salvatore.

Every second of her day was nearly spent thinking of him and his expressive blue eyes and doodling "Mrs. Salvatore" on her notebooks and anything she could draw on.

Every time he was near her, her stomach would tremble nervously. And the butterflies would flutter endlessly in her stomach at the faintest possibility of him noticing her. Or at the feeble hope that each time that she saw him might just finally be the moment when he'd finally notice her. And a dawning of comprehension would settle over him and he'd finally realize that he couldn't live without her. That time never came though.

The only thing that did come was her mother's sudden death when she was killed in a car accident on her way to come pick Elena up from a party.

Elena had been so distraught and devastated about her mother's death and in such a state of turmoil that Damon sort of slipped from her memory.

As time passed gradually the torment became like a tornado for Elena's emotion. Destroying everything in it's path and leaving her with nothing but its misery of her mother's death.

The more the days went on, the more Damon became a shadowy figure in her mind until one day he was altogether forgotten. She had seen him again on the day of Jeremy's high school graduation. He had been so handsome and radiant. Smiling that smile that she had spent countless days dreaming about and praying for it to be directed at her.

And although her heart had been beating so fast and the butterflies were still present and accounted for. She knew that he was a part of a life best forgotten and so she simply forgot about him.

But now here he was sitting in front of her. And all those old familiar feelings came rushing back at her like a tidal wave drowning her senses and feelings with Damon Salvatore.

"Hey you ok?" Damon asked irritably, wondering why she was just sitting there like an idiot and staring off into space.

_She must be high out of her mind. Jeremy warned me about her. _Damon thought silently, regarding her with scrutiny.

"Yeah I'm fine" Elena answered, finally coming to her senses. _How long had she been staring into space and on her trip down memory lane? _

_He probably thinks I'm weird._ Elena blushed nervously

"You high?" He asked her, a stern expression creasing his features.

"What?" Elena was shocked. What right did he have to ask her something like that? The nerve! Had Jeremy been telling her business to him?

"Jeremy didn't really give me all the details. He just said you were in no condition to drive"

"I really don't see how that's any of your business"

" Look kid. I know it's none of my business but you seriously need to lay off the drugs," Damon reprimanded, starting his car up.

Elena glared angrily at his countenance, pissed that he practically lecturing her.

" You're right it _is_ none of your business. What gives you the right to give me advice? You don't know anything about me" Elena retorted shakily, a myriad of emotions coursing through her.

Fear. Nervousness. Excitement. Anger

This wasn't how she pictured her first conversation with him going.

" I know that Jeremy's my best friend. And that he's really worried about you. So maybe you could take it easy on him" He said, maneuvering through barely existent traffic on the street.

_Who did Damon think he was, Jeremy's watchdog or something?_

"Don't do that. Don't pretend to know what's going on between my brother and me. You don't know anything about our relationship. I don't want or need your advice. So why don't you just mind your own fucking business? "

"You know what you're right. It's none of my business. Forget that I even said anything" He threw up in his hands in mock defeat.

"Don't worry I will" She retorted sarcastically, her whole body quivering with emotions.

"You're right though. I'm not your therapist. I'm just the designated driver getting paid to drive your high ass home. I was just saying you might try being a little bit nicer to your brother and laying off the drugs " Damon harped in response, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Wow. Thank you for this enlightening discussion Dr. Phil and tell me oh wise one what I should I be laying on? "Elena's brown eyes burned with indignation, her chest rising rapidly from how worked up she was getting.

This was a disaster. This wasn't how her first real moment with him was supposed to go.

"Bed! Isn't it past your curfew little girl. What are you 12?"

"15 asshole! I really don't get how its any of your business what I'm doing or where I'm laying. Or is it that the reason you're so interested in where I'm laying is because you'd prefer for me to be laying on you" Elena retorted coyly, raising one of her perfectly arched eyebrows and lightly touching Damon's knee.

He jumped at the contact, his body responding traitorously and allowing her small hand to linger for a moment.

_Get it together Damon. Get it the fuck together. This is Jeremy's kid sister._

"What the fuck? Seriously jailbait not cool" Damon said sternly, finally pushing Elena's soft hand off his knee.

His pulse still racing from the slight contact he had, had with her. He exhaled deeply, trying to steady his breath, and not think about how fucking sexy she was. How easy it would be to pull over and…

_Control Damon. Control yourself. _He mentally chided himself.

From the moment he had saw her standing on the bridge it had been hard no_ impossible _not to notice how hot she was. With her long brown curly hair, brown doe-eyes and perfect little features Jeremy's little sister was beautiful.

Elena laughed humorlessly " Jailbait? Hardly I'm 15 years old". She wondered if it was the drugs that had spurred her actions on. What was making her so bold.

Elena didn't know what the hell had possessed her to overtly come on to him. Maybe it was her state of inebriation or maybe it was just for shock value. Or maybe it was just to get him to shut up. Whatever the reason, she definitely wanted him to see her as more than just a kid, More than just jailbait.

"Oh wow 15 which means you can cross the street all by yourself and even_ attend_ a couple of one direction concerts" Damon retorted sardonically. Elena smacked her lips and squinted her eyes at him. What a sarcastic douchebag! And for _his_ information she hated One Direction.

"You're only 19. Four years isn't _that_ big of a difference look at Ashton and Demi" Elena flashed him what she hoped was a coquettish smirk.

"Yeah and how'd that end up for them? Besides you're not exactly my type " Damon said doing that little thing with his eyes as he looked her up and down to demonstrate his point.

"Liar " Elena negated.

"Well believe it or not brooding beauty you just don't quite do it for me. " He paused to shrug his shoulders.

" What can I say I like my women blonde, of age and preferably sober? All of which you are not." Damon snarled.

Elena felt her heart drop at his caustic words feeling like someone had twisted a knife in her gut. But instead of showing her hurt feelings in her usual self-destructive manner, she persisted with the outrageous flirting.

"Give me five minutes and we can fix that" She licked her lips seductively touching his thigh again.

Swatting her hand away, he sighed in frustration. What the hell was wrong with this girl? She was seriously damaged but more importantly what the hell was wrong with him? He was definitely having a reaction to this 15-year-olds soft butterfly touches and shameless teasing. He felt like some kind of pervert.

"Mmm sweetheart I'm betting you wouldn't know what to do with 2 minutes now kindly keep your grabby little hands to yourself"

"Wanna bet? "She laughed demurely. Damon sighed exasperatedly deciding that he would ignore her brazen bet.

"Anyways I saw the nasty piece of work you did to your car while I was coming to pick you up. How are you even allowed to drive at 15? How'd you even reach the pedals baby bop?" He asked in bewilderment. Elena rolled her eyes at his constant jokes and references to her age.

"I'm not its my dad's car. It's the third one I've crashed this year " Damon recoiled visibly from her unfeeling admission. This girl was seriously disturbed.

Elena smiled privately. She _loved_ shocking him.

"You really don't give a shit about anything huh?" He asked in thinly veiled disgust.

"That's not true I give a shit about you Damon and whenever you're ready I can show you just how much I care," Elena whispered seductively.

Damon gritted his teeth against the traitorous spasms of desire that coursed through his body. _She was driving him crazy._

Pulling to a stop in front of her house and expelling a relieved breath, he turned to her and slit his eyes "Well I'd love to stay and chat. _Not really. _But how about you stop playing big girl games and go home to bed now little girl" Elena bristled at his sharp tone and cold demeanor, her heart clenching in her chest.

Unnerved by his callous treatment Elena frowned "Fine your loss".

In response Damon's blue eyes roved over her lingeringly causing her to feel completely nude under their assessment. Her heart sped up as he licked his lips suggestively at her, his eyes promising endless nights of sexual satisfaction.

Every part of her body was tingling as he leaned into her and then slightly hovered over her his hand gripping the door handle. His lips dangerously close to her ear.

"If ever I was to fuck you. You wouldn't even know what to do with yourself. Don't fuck with things you can't handle. Now get the hell out of my car before I forget you're Jeremy's little sister " Damon sneered. And then jerked the door open violently causing her to nearly fall out of the car.

"What. The. Hell!" An outraged Elena sputtered, attempting to break the fall.

Righting herself, Elena stepped out the car on wobbly feet. The cold air further serving as a reminder of the cold rejection she had just experienced.

"You're an ass, " She snarled slamming his door shut and kicking it angrily. The moment her foot connected with his door she winced and yelped instantaneously. "Sssh oww fuck!" She howled incoherently bouncing and wobbling awkwardly on one foot in pain.

Damon laughed riotously at the expense of the reeling girl. _That ought-a teach the little brat something. _Glaring at his smug laughing expression her nostrils flared angrily as she turned to walk away from the asshole. He smiled arrogantly at her retreating back before taking off abruptly in a flurry of screeching tires. Determined to get as far the hell away from her as possible.

She stopped in her tracks for a brief second recalling the fact that she had forgot to grab her phone out of his car. Taking a second to think about it she decided against going after him or using the house phone to call him and tell him to bring her back her phone. Since he had to return her phone at some point now he would be forced to see her. A smile played across Elena's features in the pale moonlight and she couldn't help but smile despite herself. She had actually made a pass at Damon Salvatore and for a second he had actually seemed like he wanted to give in. He would give in eventually Elena just knew it. Sure he had shot her down and it had been painful and embarrassing also her overweening ego had suffered a major blow. But she was_ in love_ with Damon. It was only a matter of time before she would make him feel the same way. Because if you wanted something bad enough you should fight for it right? And with the intense feelings Elena felt for him she was ready to go to war for Damon. She wouldn't give up. She'd keep pushing until he eventually gave in. And in the mean time she'd bide her time and wait for the day when Damon realized what Elena had known all along which was that the two of them were destined to be together.


	3. Confessions of A Broken Heart

**Chapter Three**

**Confessions of a Broken Heart**

_I am broken but I am hoping  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I am crying, a part of me is dying but,  
These are, these are  
The confessions of a broken heart_

* * *

"_Ssss Damon" Elena's throaty moan combined with the frenzied squeaking of the bed echoed wildly off the bedroom walls. _

_The feverish pitch of her body rose to an apex as her body shuddered erratically from her fourth climax that night. Her hands bunched and dug into the white cotton of the sheet as her hips bucked up to meet his thrusts. She was matching him thrust for thrust. _

"_Sss fuck, Elena, Elena. Elena" Damon groaned her name out over and over like a mantra as he punctuated each word with a spearing thrust. Relishing in the tight wetness that encased him. She fit him like a glove. She was a perfect fit._

"_Lena" He hissed her name through gritted as he reached between their intertwined bodies to brush his thumb across her clit. _

"_Fuck" She whimpered helplessly biting the back of her hand against the familiar spasms that racked her petite body again._

_Damon peered down at the beautiful brunette as she sheathed him tighter contracting her muscles around him. She lay sprawled beneath him in his four-poster cherry wood bed. Her legs wide open and pushed up for his access. _

_Even in the faded light of his room her mahogany brown locks gleamed like a tousled brown halo around her flushed face._

_Her head was tilted back, her body arched into a semblance of utter abandon. Her brown eyes were shuttered, glazed, and had been reduced to a half-mast. And her pink lips, the ones he hadn't been able to stop kissing were moist, flushed, and swollen._

"_Hey you" She whispered coyly with a smirk gazing up at him beneath her sweeping dark lashes. It was innocent. It was playful. It was his undoing and it nearly sent him teetering over the edge as he bit his bottom lip and hooked his arms under her legs dragging her further down the bed and impaling her even deeper._

"_Hey yourself" He moaned swiveling his hips and pushing further so that he was buried hilt deep in her walls._

"_Oh my god!" She moaned from the pleasure wrapping her arms tightly around his muscular shoulders and closing the space between their bodies as her fingers dug into his back._

_She felt so good. So damn good. _

_He was close. He could feel the pressure building and he knew the elusive release was close enough to touch. He was reaching. Stretching out to touch it. –_

* * *

"Damon!" Jeremy's strident tone and adamant nudging to his shoulders sliced through the fabric of his dream. Damon bolted into an upright sitting position breathing heavily. His body immediately protested the sudden movement due to all the exercising he had done this week and the scant thirty minutes of sleep he had gotten.

A light sheen of cold sweat coated his body. Disoriented, It took a couple of seconds for Damon's eyes to adjust to the brightly lit room before meeting Jeremy's annoyed stare.

Jeremy shifted slightly from his sitting position on the edge of Damon's bed before glaring at his roommate once again.

"Whaaat?" Damon carped his voice still groggy with sleep. His blue eyes darted to the black alarm clock on his nightstand taking in the bright red LED stenciled numbers that read **5:56**.

"Hey did you use my tooth paste _again?" _Jeremy inquired in a nagging tone that grated on Damon's nerves.

_Jeremy woke him up for some fucking toothpaste? _He was beginning to think his petty roommate weighed his toothpaste daily so that he could be cognizant of any discrepancy in the ounces.

"_Seriously _you woke me up for toothpaste? I don't have class for another 6 hours"

"Did you use it or not?" Jeremy persisted with an exasperated breath his brown eyes speckled with annoyance. Jeremy was ornery about his belongings and he didn't like anyone touching them. To illustrate his point he had even gone as far as to label all of his objects and belongings with little taped on post-it's that read _Jeremy_. Meticulous was an understatement to describe Jeremy.

"No now leave me alone," Damon grumbled irritably. He was irritated with the goddamn Gilberts and he was _definitely _aggravated by that intense dream he'd been having about Elena Gilbert. Damn her.

* * *

As twilight waned, plump droplets of rain pelted down from the sky attempting to wash away everything that was coarse and dirty about the streets of Mystic Falls. _It would take an ocean _to cleanse her of her sins Elena couldn't help but drolly muse as she hunkered down on the side of her house welcoming the rain.

The cool rivulets kissed at her skin soaking her completely. Strong gusts of blustery wind accompanied the glacial rain biting its icy teeth through her thin hoody. And yet despite the frigid weather and turbulent rain Elena still sat crouched down outside refusing to move from her spot.

She couldn't feel the rain. It couldn't touch her. Nothing could touch her because she was absolutely numb. Shortly after she had gotten out of Damon's car two hours ago she had run to her drug stash that she kept hidden on the side of her house and gotten high and what a _high _it was. The PCP drug coursed through her system making her feel more alive than ever.

The feeling of her high was euphoric. It produced in her a childlike wonder. It gifted her with the ability to perceive events with clarity. It gave her the ability to laugh at the silliest things, to suddenly understand things that seemed absurd or vexing before she got high.

Nature became an orchestra of color, texture, and movement. Nothing could hurt her in this state because it gave her the aloofness of a cat. It made every superlative seem within her grasp. It even gave her the strength to finally get up off the ground and stand to her feet so that she could face her father, something she had dreaded all night.

As she staggered slightly she masked her features into a perfect image of indifference before walking around towards the front of the house.

Elena's breath hitched as she slid her key into the lock and opened the front door of her house.

She had barely stepped into the foyer of her house before she heard the footsteps coming towards her.

"Elena? Elena is that you?" A breathy woman's voice called out from the kitchen of the house causing Elena to stiffen visibly.

Elena knew the voice. She _hated_ the voice. It belonged to Esther Mikaelson her father's girlfriend.

"Elena your father and I have looked everywhere for you, Grayson, Grayson! Elena's home" Esther exclaimed running to reach Elena. In a whirlwind motion Esther came running up to Elena crushing her inside her arms with a tight hug.

The cloying scent of Esther's overwhelming perfume nearly made Elena gag along with the woman's fake concern.

Esther's distress was just about as phony as that tacky blonde hair she wore in a fashionably cut bob. The woman had probably done some victory dance at the thought of her running away or dying in some tragic accident.

Peeling her arms away Elena moved back to give the woman a dirty look before giggling and responding, "I'm fine".

Esther's gaze raked suspiciously over the drenched teenager that stood before her. Her eyes were red, unfocused, and her pupils were dilated. She also had the sneaking suspicion that when she had hugged Elena she had caught a whiff of something strange.

Esther sighed. Elena was a blight on humanity one that she wished some black gaping hole would open and swallow whole. The obstinate teenager was always getting into trouble and wreaking havoc on everyone's lives, including hers.

"Elena!" Grayson Gilberts incensed voice thundered as he came bounding down the stairs. He was furious he'd had two bottles of scotch and his emotions were at all time high.

"Where the hell is my car!" He roared his face mottled with fury as he walked to stand directly in front of Elena. His ire was not only tangible through Elena's drug haze but also even more poignant making his voice sound like he speakers lodged in it. It was so loud it made her ears hurt.

"Ouch you're hurting my ears" Elena winced with a giggle placing her hands over her ears and squeezing her eyes shut and wobbling slightly.

Grayson stared unbelieving eyes at her silly grin and ridiculous antics. His steely gray eyes pinned to her in a disbelieving horror.

"Are you high" He loudly hurled the accusation at her although he already knew the answer to his question.

Her shout of laughter in response to his question profaned the gravity of the situation completely baiting and disrespecting him, like she always did. She didn't take him seriously. She constantly questioned his authority at any given opportunity and she was unruly. It was devastating, frustrating, and he didn't know what to do with her anymore. He had no clue how to handle her Miranda had usually been the firm hand that distributed punishment. For him though, it was a foreign concept.

But now that Elena was high he was prepared to put his foot down even if he didn't know how to go about doing it.

"Ssshhhhhh" She pressed her fingers to her lips, her exaggerated plea for silence adding fuel to a blazing fire.

"Elena look at me" He barked clutching her chin tightly in his fingers and bringing her face closer to his for scrutiny.

"You're high aren't you?" He laughed incredulously grappling with the fact that his 15-year-old daughter was standing in front of him stoned out of her mind.

Drugs were definitely on the invisible list of every parent's worst nightmare. And here it was, the substance abuse taunting his ability to parent his child properly.

Elena blinked open her chocolate-brown eyes scowling dazedly into the face that looked so much like hers. His dark blue eyes were brimming with accusation and disappointment. It was a look she was used to receiving from him and at the recognition of it, it made her frown even more darkly and slap his hand away from her chin.

_She didn't want him touching her._

Grayson glowered at her actions and shook his head in disbelief before turning to Esther who had watched the scene silently.

"Can you believe this she's high? As if crashing two of my cars in one year, spending a night in jail, and flunking every class at school isn't horrible enough now she's getting high too!" His voice rose with every point he made.

Esther didn't respond she didn't know how to respond, She had never seen him this upset before and she was sure it was due to all the liquor he had drunk.

Elena glared at him defiantly refusing to speak. Her actions made him even angrier.

"Damn it Elena!" He howled blinded with fury as he hit the wall behind him with his open hand. He needed some form of an outlet for the rage he felt.

"What's next huh?" He yelled inches away from her face "You gonna drop out of school too? Or maybe a teen pregnancy" He roared his liquor smelling breath fanning her face.

He was breaking her. He was quickly getting through her wall of nonchalance and every word he yelled was tearing her apart. Elena wanted to cry, but she would never give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

"Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you," She laughed bitterly. She could feel the pressure building, the tears that were threatening to fall.

"You think this is a joke Elena? Look around you no one's laughing but you" Grayson pointed gesturing to Esther who was staring at her reproachfully.

"You're not FUNNY. There's nothing FUNNY about any of this. You're nothing but a big disappointment Elena and I'm so glad your mother didn't live to see just how much of a disappointment you turned out to be."

The emotional dam inside of her burst as tears blurred her vision.

_She wasn't going to cry._

_She wasn't going to cry._

"No that's not true you don't know what you're talking about mom loved me!" She screamed as she felt the hot liquid in her eyes began a slow descent down her cheek.

_Fuck she was crying._

"She's probably turning over in her grave at just how screwed up you turned out to be, you're a liar, a thief, you're self destructive-"

"Noooo" Elena wailed brokenly cutting off his biting words as her chest heaved violently from her sobs.

"You're toxic-" He continued his onslaught.

"No, no, stop it, stop talking!" She pleaded cutting him off again as she sobbed violently and placed her hands over her ears in a futile attempt to mute out his disparaging words.

"You're insolent!" He snarled.

Elena couldn't take it anymore. The pain constricted in her chest making her feel like she couldn't breathe. She was crying so hard. The tears were streaming down her face at the emotional pain that continued to engulf her. Something inside of her snapped.

She shoved hard at her father's chest causing him to stagger backwards "JUST SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OK?" She screeched.

Grayson's eyes widened with shock as he stared stupefied at the known stranger he referred to at his daughter. This couldn't be his daughter. His Elena, the smiling cheerleader who used to make him his favorite lasagna every Friday or the little girl who made him Christmas cards every year up until she was 12.

This _Monster _was someone else, someone who terrified him with her unabashed anguish and hatred for him.

"Grayson she is out of control! Do something" Esther hissed indignantly no longer able to stand by without intervening. Elena Gilbert was a monster. One that need to be caged, locked up, or either shipped away and somewhere far out of her sight.

Grayson glanced back and forth between Esther's furious expression and Elena's bawling face. He was torn, stuck between what he wanted to do and what was the right thing to do. He _wanted _to side with Esther because he was so pissed off at Elena and his patience with her was wearing thin. He knew the right thing to do though would be to hug his little girl tightly in his arms the way he used to whenever she had a bad dream as a little girl, and tell her how much he loved her and how he'd get her some help. He went with his baser instincts.

"Esther's right you're out of control Elena"

"You're taking her side now? Over me your own daughter" Elena wept copiously the betrayal of his words cutting deeper than any knife ever could.

Grayson sighed wearily refusing to meet her accusatory glare, afraid he'd crack under its pressure. He loved her he really did, he told himself but he just didn't know who she was anymore. She was a shell of the person she had once been and completely void of all the things he used to love about her so much and how was he supposed to deal with that?

Every time he had tried to help her over the past year she had just struck out at him. He was exhausted, and more tired than he ever been in his 42 years of living.

"I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore Elena " He sighed wearily with a pained expression. Refusing to meet the look on her tear-streaked face.

"What happened to you, what happened to my little girl? Who is this? This Monster you've become" He asked perplexedly on the brink of tears.

"A monster?" She echoed digging her fingers into her hair and shaking her head disbelievingly at his harsh words.

"Is that what you think I am, A Monster?" Elena whispered brokenly. Her heart breaking into a million pieces at the look of contempt she saw shining in her father's eyes. It was the worst type of pain.

"Well If I'm A Monster it's because _you _made me into one. It's your fault. You did this. You ignored me every day for fourteen years. You ignored all of us. _You _were the reason mom was driving drunk that night. It was because she found out. About you and her. You cheated on mom with her"-" Elena sobbed pointing at Esther.

"Mom wasn't even dead a week before you started openly seeing her. You never even care about her did you? You never cared about any of us! How could you?" She cried her voice hurt and anguished.

"How could you do to this us" She sniffled feeling desolate and broken.

Grayson blinked furiously against the wetness gathering in his eyes. He had never seen his daughter so distraught, so hurt and it killed him to see her like this. But he wasn't going to enable Elena he wasn't about to allow her to play the martyr. Elena would have to learn accountability. Yes he had cheated on his wife and committed a grievous sin against the sanction of marriage but he hadn't forced Elena to do any of the horrible things she had done.

"I've made a lot of mistakes Elena. I'm not perfect. But I loved your mother ok? I'm not the reason you are the way that you are. I didn't force you to do drugs or to crash my cars you did that all by yourself" He replied firmly.

"Yeah then why don't you just do what you do best and go back to ignoring me, you're good at that," She griped snidely wiping furiously at the tears on her cheek.

She couldn't believe she had allowed him to break her. To tear down every perfectly erected wall that kept the emotions out.

Grayson pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh, he had work in a couple of hours and he was exhausted.

"I'll deal with you later on young lady, now where is my car?" He asked.

"I crashed it!" She retorted smugly determined to cling on to some form of dignity.

"You what!"

"You heard me I said I crashed it and I'm glad I did it too" Her words caused Esther to gasp in shock. Grayson's hold on his control snapped as he thought about all the money and trouble he was going to have go through to fix the car or get another one. As he thought about how much overtime he would have to put in at work to even afford to get his car fixed.

A wave of hatred so strong washed over him that it nearly blinded him with the intensity of it.

"You're nothing but a fuck up! You have no respect for anyone or anything. You don't respect me. You don't respect my house and you don't even respect yourself.

" It should've been you in that car that night; you should've died instead of her. Every time I see your face I think about that, about how it should've been you instead. You make me sick to my stomach. I hate you" He spat coldly fixing a stanch glare of hatred on her.

Elena's nostrils flared her lips tightening into a scowl " I hate you too" she countered.

"Get out!"

"Get the fuck out of my house! I don't ever want to see you again you hear me?" He yelled grabbing Elena roughly by her arm and dragging her towards the door. His nails pierced sharply into her skin making her cry out from the pain.

"Grayson you're hurting her!" Esther cried running after him to stop him. She didn't like Elena but that certainly didn't mean she wanted to see her being abused either.

"I don't care!" He roared in response stopping in front of the front door.

"Grayson no, Grayson stop!" Esther pleaded.

He was beyond control or reason as he wrenched open the door and pushed Elena out into the frigid air. He didn't bother to spare her a second glance or give her any compunction as he slammed the door in her face.


	4. Nightmare

_Omg thank you so much for the 20+reviews last chapter, and for all your follows and favorites. You guys are all so amazing :). Sorry it took me so long but I was just super busy. I hope you guys enjoy this **long** chapter though. _

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Because you're lonely in your nightmare let me in  
And it's barren in your garden let me in  
Because there's heat beneath your winter let me in**

* * *

Elena stood on the porch lifelessly gazing at the oak door in front her. Her mind burning with so many thoughts that she was sure it would burst with combustion.

_He hated her._

_Her own father hated her._

_He said that it should have been her that died instead of her mother._

The cold realization was daunting and far icier than the chilly gusts of wind that bit through Elena's hoody. It parroted in her mind over and over grower harsher with each repeat. It was excruciating. So painful, that the bolts of raw pain that shot through Elena shocked her with its intensity. Nothing had ever hurt her this badly.

Sure, Her mother's death had been a crushing blow but _this_ felt like getting your heart ripped out of your chest. It was like having a Band-Aid ripped from an already bleeding wound. And what was worst was that the one person who could fix her had been the same one to break her.

Tears sheened her vision as she stared up at the shut door in front of her. The door she had been thrown out of. The door that indicated that she was no longer welcome in her own home.

The thought was disheartening and it blew away the last fragments of her control.

"Fuck!" She yelled forlornly as the tears scalded her cheeks.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Her black converse clad foot slammed repeatedly into the door as she simultaneously pounded her angry fist into it.

"Open the door. Please Daddy" Her fingernails scratched at the wood of the door. Her loud sobs subsiding into choked whimpers. The fight in her waning and quickly being replaced with the need for love, her fathers love.

No one answered the door though. Or responded to her desperate pleas. She was on her own now.

_She was homeless. She could never go home again._

Furiously she smashed her fist into the white glass pot of flowers that sat on her porch.

The stinging pain that seared through her was instantaneous as the white shards from the pot shattered all over the porch. She bit back a cry of pain as the crimson blood gushed out from her cut knuckles. Grabbing one of the ragged pieces of glass she poised the glass above her thin wrist.

Elena rolled up the hoody of her sleeve revealing the intricate pattern of faded out paper thin scars that she had cut into her arm at different times fully intent on creating a new wound with the piece of glass she was holding.

She was desperate to escape the nightmares that chased her through her sleep, and the endless pain. Wincing, she pricked the tender flesh of her arm with the pointed tip of glass.

There was a little frisson of pain, almost pleasure, as crimson life oozed in a delicate band, slowly pooling and encircling her wrist.

Again, and again, the sharp point kissed flesh, Precise in its incisions. Not too deep. The slits just deep enough to cut but also shallow enough to keep her alive. Whatever alive meant anyway.

Because Elena often doubted that was really alive at least not where it counted, not on the inside. Inside she was dead, lifeless and empty. And the crimson bracelets offered the needed proof that for now at least, she was still somewhat alive.

Slumping down onto the cement stairs of her porch Elena began crying again. She felt helpless. She knew that cutting and doing drugs wasn't the answer but they were the only answers that made sense to her.

Unlike her friends and her so-called family the self-imposed abuse provided a small comfort to her. But she knew that her security blanket of abuse wasn't real, that it could only do more harm than good and yet she couldn't stop it. She was addicted to the pain. Pain was all she knew.

"Please god. Please, please, help me" The broken prayer ripped from her cracked voice.

She shut her eyes squeezing them tightly to keep the tears at bay. She was so sick of crying and broken into so many pieces that she didn't begin to know how to put the pieces back together.

Elena sat there for a while, silently crying and praying that things would get better. Promising god that if he made things easier for her she'd stop cutting and doing drugs and that she'd make a real effort to turn her life around.

The sun was shining when she finally stumbled to her feet and began walking towards the street. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't have any place to go. And so she walked aimlessly down the streets, trusting her feet to take her to somewhere her mind hadn't even thought of yet.

* * *

It was an insistent pounding on the door that pulled Damon from a deep sleep. Laziness and a deeply ingrained instinct to get just five more minutes of sleep made him briefly ignore the hammering at the door. It was persistent though and refused to be disregarded for long as it constantly drilled into his slumber.

"Damon someone's at the door" Rose's groggy voice penetrated his haze of sleep. He drowsily jerked his head up in acknowledgement to her words, still muzzy with sleep.

"Huh" His voice was thick with sleep, as his mind struggled to process and register what was going on at the moment.

He felt a slight customary lag most people feel when waking up and a second of confusion as his mind tried to catch up with his body.

His eyes temporarily struggling to adjust to the bright prisms of light that streaked through the venetian blinds on his window.

Groaning loudly, he lethargically sat up in bed and brought his hands up to both sides of his head to massage the pulsating, throbbing veins in his temples.

He closed his eyes and willed his stomach not to eject its contents. There was nothing he hated more than the taste and smell of vomiting. And because of his revulsion to it he instantly regretted getting drunk at 6 am in the morning and inviting Rose who stayed a couple dorms away to come over for a quick fuckfest.

After Jeremy had left he'd been so hot and bothered by his Elena sex dream that he had needed a fleeting distraction. And for two hours straight he had fucked away his sexual frustration and drunk away the guilt.

The excess drinking and sex had definitely been a bad idea though, and it was biting him in the ass now.

When the incessant pounding came again, Damon shuddered. Swearing softly, he gingerly slipped out of bed his feet hitting the plush tan carpet of floor as he dazedly searched for his boxers. The black Calvin Klein boxers he had discarded just hours earlier sat in a heap of cotton at the end of his bed.

"Son of a bitch" He whispered hoarsely, slipping into his boxers.

The pounding intensified becoming more relentless and even more demanding. Nonplussed, Damon tried to think of a person bold enough to come knocking on his door at 10 am.

He couldn't think of anyone.

"Seriously" Rose groaned irritably from the bed she was still lying in and pulled the tan brown comforter over her head to evade the sun light and irritating pounding.

Damon was too annoyed with the anonymous visitor at his door to really think about the fact that Rose had slept over at his apartment. Something that was against his rules and that he never allowed. _Why the fuck didn't she go home? Why was she still here?_

She was cozy in her spot too, firmly nestled under the Egyptian cotton blanket and he knew she didn't intend on going anywhere anytime soon. His irritation doubled as he closed the door to his room and walked out into the foyer of his dorm to answer the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" He pulled open the door fervently, eager to curse out the culprit behind the offensive door banging.

"What!" He bellowed infuriately, swinging the door wide open.

The squalls of frigid wind attacked Damon instantly as he stood perched in the doorway. It was a cold caress that chilled him to bone. He didn't mind the cold though because he was too busy trying to process the fact that Elena Gilbert was standing on his doorstep.

It was hard to believe that the girl he had been dreaming about just hours ago was now standing in front of him and for a second he wondered if he was still dreaming.

As if to answer his question an icy drop of rain, fat and gelid, splattered against his cheek indicating the realness of this moment. She wasn't a figment of his imagination. She was real. And her pale haggard face that had little black rivers of wet mascara smudges running down her face was real as well.

She had obviously been crying. And by the way that she gnawed fretfully on her lower lip and her chin wobbled it looked like she was about to start crying again.

Shit. Damon hated tears. He couldn't identify with them. Years ago, after all the sense of wonder had been beaten out of him; he had decided that tears were useless. They didn't fix anything, they didn't solve anything, and tears only made you look weak. And because of his inane need to prove his superiority and strength to his father, weak was something that he never wanted to appear.

Damon really hated any open displays of weakness. Yet and still he couldn't help the tendrils of pity that strangled his heart as he studied Elena's crying face.

She looked so vulnerable and helpless, that it was impossible not to feel some sort of sympathy for her. She hardly resembled the vixen that had taunted him and flirted with him earlier. Instead she looked every bit of 15-years-old, maybe even younger.

A protective instinct welled up in him and even though he didn't know what to do he felt compelled to do something anyway. He racked his brain thinking of something to say to her that would ease her pain.

"It's freezing out here. Come inside." He gestured towards the inside of his house, moving aside so that she could enter the dorm apartment.

Wordlessly she moved into the space of the apartment, tightly clutching one hand over the other. She didn't want Damon to see her bleeding hand and realize just how fucked up she really was.

Fatigued from lack of sleep, Elena's bleary brown eyes halfheartedly examined the dorm. They took in the bare white alabaster walls, the small space of the tan carpeted living area that was just big enough to fit a leather black couch with tan throw pillows and a 42 inch flat screen TV in it. The living area merged into the kitchen space with only a two seated kitchen island and a small walk in space to separate the living room from the kitchen. Two doors were built into either side of the wall and Elena was sure that they were Damon and Jeremy's dorm rooms.

It was a nice cozy little space and Elena immediately fell in love with it.

"Its not exactly the Hilton. But it'll do" Damon cracked with a delicate shrug of his shoulders. Trying to impose some levity into the situation.

She didn't even crack a smile. Her grim expression clearly communicating that she wasn't in the mood for humor.

Leaning against the wall with one arm he uncomfortably shifted his weight from one leg to the other, staring at her pensively.

_What was she doing here at the University of Virginia? Why was she hiding her hands? And why the hell wasn't she in school?_

"What are you doing all the way out here in Charlottesville?" His voice was ripe with alarm, his blue eyes observing her suspiciously.

She didn't answer, turning her back to him to avoid further scrutiny or questioning.

He unfolded himself from the wall with lanky grace, His long legs quickly eating up the space that separated them.

"Answer me Elena. What are you doing here? Is everything all right? Are you in some kind of trouble"? He spun her around to face him, his eyes fastening hers in their place.

His eyes gazed down into hers; the watery depths were sad, and a little bit mocking. He couldn't tell if they mocked him or herself.

She forced her gaze down from his, a closed expression settling over face.

"Like you actually care. You practically threw me out of your car earlier" She laughed scornfully.

"Fine! I was just trying to help" He threw up his hands at her and glared, the fuse on his anger short from sleep deprivation and a hangover.

"Well don't. I don't need your help-"

"I know. I know. You don't know need anyone's help. Yet oddly enough you're standing in my living room at 10 am in the morning crying your eyes out. There is something going on here and you know it. You're just too afraid to admit it. To admit that you need help-"

"I don't need anyone's help!" She screamed hoarsely tears blinding her vision.

She didn't need his pity. She didn't need anyone's pity.

"Then tell me this. What's gonna happen when you go too far one day? Whose gonna be there to drag your ass from the edge and deliver you back to sanity? HUH! WHO ELENA?" His face contorted with anger, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Screw you. You don't know anything about me. OK? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN. EVERYTHING IS SO EASY FOR YOU DAMON. EVERYONE LOVES YOU. -" Her voice cracked with emotion, the hot tears slowly rolling down her face.

"Well maybe if you didn't push away EVERY person that's ever tried to help you they'd love you too. I get it Elena. You got a shitty deal when your mom died. But that's life. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. And I know you miss your mom but do you honestly think she would've wanted this for you. This life-"

"Don't you dare" Her hands made an angry cutting gesture, her eyes wild with emotion.

"Don't you even dare pretend to know what she would've wanted for me. You didn't even know her."

"You know what fine, you're right. You know everything and I don't. It's none of my business. Sorry for trying to help" He countered sarcastically, glaring angrily at her as he stalked off and into his room.

Damon slammed the door forcefully behind him, nearly knocking it off of its hinges.

"What was that all about?" Rose asked standing by his bed and sliding into the full length of her dark blue jeans.

Damon raked a tired hand through his brown locks, shaking his head in bewilderment.

"I honestly don't know. Me trying to play the hero and help out Jeremy's dumb kid sister I guess"

"What's wrong with her?"

"What's not? She's fucked up. Seriously fucked up"

"Well don't let her get to you. You can't save everyone Damon. It might just be time to turn the switch off on your savior-complex" Rose smiled and shrugged into her short-waist leather jacket.

Rose was right. He was always trying to fix things. And he needed to just understand that some things were damaged beyond repair.

Besides why should he allow Elena's well being to bother him? She wasn't his problem. She was Jeremy's pain in the ass sister, not his.

"I'll see you later" Rose pressed a brusque kiss to his cheek, before leaving out the door. He scowled reflexively. Rose was getting too attached. She was spending the night, and kissing him goodbye. He'd have to cut all strings with her. She was fun and she gave great advice but he wasn't looking for anything serious.

He preferred his entanglements with women to be brief and enjoyable. Pleasure was the only principle, and anything else was merely incidental.

Yep it was definitely time to cut the cord with Rose.

* * *

Elena was pissed.

Her brown eyes glared angrily at the retreating form of the tall slender brunette that had just emerged from Damon's room.

_Bitch. _She fumed silently, her eyes stalking the girls every movement as she watched her hastily make her way towards the door.

"I sure hope you two crazy kids used protection" Elena sneered acerbically at the girl, her eyes cutting and livid.

Rose smirked at the pretty little teenager who sat pouting on the couch with her arms crossed angrily.

_What a little bitch. Damon was right; this girl is a piece of work._

"I don't see how that's any of your business little girl" Rose shot her a snarky look, her green eyes challenging Elena.

Before Elena could formulate an equally bitchy comment Rose turned her back on her and opened the door to walk outside into the air.

She gave Elena a sneering smirk before closing the door shut.

"Why do you look like someone just shot a panda bear?" Damon walked out into the living room buttoning up a dark black shirt.

"And here I thought you weren't talking to me, guess I was wrong" Elena rolled her eyes sardonically glaring at him, she was furious with him.

How could he pretend to give a damn about her feelings when he had another girl in his room waiting for him?

"You know you've really got this angry tortured little girl role down to a tee. Consider me impressed"

"Give me five minutes and I'll double your impression"

"If I see anything I haven't seen before I'll throw a dollar at it"

"I'll take that bet."

"Again with the flirty comments? I'm beginning to think you use them as ammo to avoid any real conversation. I'm willing to bet you're way more bark than bite jail-bait"

"I don't bite, unless you ask me to" She winked coyly.

"See there it goes again. Using flirty comments to avoid any real discussion. Is that all you do Elena? Run away from your problems?"

"Yep because I forget that you know everything. Saint Salvatore he's got all the answers ladies and gentlemen." Elena clapped her hands mockingly, smiling insincerely.

At her actions, Damon's eyes caught the jagged fissures of blood on her hand, and the murky red stains on her light gray hoody.

Running over to her he snatched her arm up jerking her up from her seat, and suspending her arm in the air so that he could examine her bruises.

"What happened to your hand"?

"It's none of your business." She struggled to snatch her arm back; he was holding it in a viselike grip though and refused to release it.

"Would you stop acting like a caveman? Let go of me," She hissed squirming and wriggling around trying to pry her arm loose. Her free hand balled into a fist, flailing and punching at his chest.

He caught her small fist that was seconds away from connecting with his face. His hand closed tightly over it as he bent her slightly backwards to assert his dominance.

"No!"

"Let go of me. Damon. Let go of me!"

"Not until you tell me what the hell happened to your hand!"

"It's nothing"

" Doesn't look like nothing." His snapping blue eyes roved over her hand pointedly.

Elena's lips compressed tightly together, her expression defiant.

"Fine. Be stubborn and don't tell me. But, at least let me put something on your wounds" He sighed dejectedly. He knew she wouldn't tell him. She'd fight tooth and nail before giving in to his questioning. She was way too damn stubborn.

One of the many other reasons to add to his "Damon and Elena would never work" mental list he had compiled in his mind.

"I don't need your help I can clean-"

"Shut up. I'm not asking you I'm telling you" He interjected her protest, his tone brooking no room for an argument.

The tenor of his voice scared her with its edginess. Out of fear, Elena shut up, and allowed him to lead her into Jeremy's bathroom.

"Take that off." Damon gestured towards the hoody as he turned to search through Jeremy's cabinet for some antiseptics and Band-Aids.

Elena didn't like being bossed around. Not one fucking bit. Still, She complied with his gruff order but frowned at him the whole time it took her to take off the hoody.

"I really can do this myself Damon"

He ignored her as he soaked white cotton Q-tips with alcohol.

"This is gonna sting, Just squeeze my hand if it hurts" He warned her, clutching her pallid small hand gently and dabbing at the cuts.

She jumped reflexively from the sting, her eyes watering instantly.

"Sss ouch" Immediately, She transformed from the smart-mouthed sassy teenager into the frightened little girl he had caught glimpses of earlier. He liked the delicate side of her. It made him want to protect her.

His hands were soft and cautious as he disinfected all the wounds on her knuckles; she squeezed his hand gently every time the acrid disinfectant stung her.

Blue and brown eyes clashed and held as he swiftly bandaged her hand with gauzes. Weaving his spell on her as well as the as the thin translucent fabric.

"Thank you" Elena whispered softly clasping his forearm.

He sprang erect at her touch, His manhood angry and bold. He shifted his stance slightly, hoping that she couldn't see his imprint through his jeans. Fuck. He need to get a grip on his hormones, this was Jeremy's baby sister. She was only fifteen years old.

"No problem" He muttered bitterly.

She was ruining everything. Ruining him for all other women. He wanted her, even though he could easily dial any number in his phone and get sex. He only _wanted_ her. He wanted her badly, in ways he hadn't even expected. It was beyond sex. There was something about her. Something inside of her, that could finally fill up the gaping emptiness in him that he had felt all his life.

Yep, he wanted her so _fucking_ bad, and he couldn't have her. She was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Alluring but dangerous and guaranteed to come with consequences.

She was Jeremy's sister. She was too young. His attraction to her made him feel so guilty. And yet despite all the taboo factors of his attraction he still wanted her with a burning passion.

It was all her fault too. She had made him want her with all her coy glances and sexual innuendos. She had teased him. Baited him like a fish on a hook.

He hated her for it.

"Did you hear me Damon?" Her voice cut into his reverie, jolting him out of his thoughts.

"No sorry. What'd you say?"

"I said do you have any clean clothes I could slip into? I really wanna take a hot shower. And I would put on something of Jeremy's but you know how anal he is about anyone touching his stuff" She grinned, tucking an errant strand of brown hair behind her ear.

"I need to do laundry. But I should have some t-shirts and boxers that'll fit you" He left her in the bathroom in search of her some clothes.

Elena smiled to herself, feeling happier than she had felt in months. And she wasn't even high. She wanted to preserve this moment forever and revisit it anytime she was feeling sad.

It was euphoric. It made her forget about her father and his harsh words, about the cuts on her arm.

Maybe, this was the day she'd been hoping for, the day when Damon would finally notice her. Not as Jeremy's little sister, but as HER, Elena.

"I got you a t-shirt and a pair of my boxers" Damon reappeared in the bathroom handing her the white cotton shirt that read "I'm with Stupid" in black stenciled writing, and a pair of navy blue Calvin Klein boxers.

"Thanks"

"No problem"

"Not just for this Damon, for everything. I'm sorry I was being such a bitch to you earlier. Everything's just so messed up right now. But that still isn't an excuse for me to take my anger out on you. You were just trying to help and I practically bit your head off"

"More like chewed my head off" He grunted sarcastically, she smiled.

"But I mean it Damon_. Seriously_ Thanks. I know I can be a bitch sometimes-" His eyes rose fractionally, as if to say she was a bitch more often than not.

"Ok most of the time" She amended. "I'm just used to no one caring about me"

"I don't think that's true. I think a lot of people care about you."

"Not some of the ones who I want to care, they don't' care at all" Her veiled words had a double meaning, a meaning that she was hoping he'd pick up on.

"Don't be so sure. They just might surprise you" He issued cryptically his blue eyes softening with emotion before he abruptly turned to leave her in the bathroom.

It took Elena a second to realize how hard she had been gripping onto the edge of the porcelain sink, grasping onto it for support. Grasping for hope.

She immediately released her clutch and moved to turn on water in the shower. Experimenting with the hot and cold knobs on the tub before regulating it to a pressure she found suitable.

Sliding out of her grimy clothes she stepped under the water spray allowing the pattering drops of water to sluice down her skin.

* * *

Damon dressed deftly, his adroit fingers only pausing every so often to glance at his wristwatch. He had class soon. His first class was at 12:35 and if he didn't hurry up he was going to be late. He still had to stop and pick up Alaric, and then go pick up one of the required books for class before he went to school.

A soft rapping on the front door stilled Damon's fingers as he turned his head curiously towards the sound.

_Who the hell could that be?_

Damon quickly travelled the distance from his room to the front door, stopping in front of the door. He glanced out the peephole of the door to see who it was before answering it.

_Shit._

Shit. Shit. Shit.

It was Katherine Pierce. The evil bitch whose craziness still gave him nightmares occasionally. She was definitely evil incarnate.

_What the fuck was she doing here? He hadn't talked to her in forever._

He had met Katherine a year ago at a foam party hosted by the Kappa's. He had taken her home that same night, fucked her and discarded her number the next day. He had completely forgotten about her until she showed up on his doorstep a few of weeks later claiming she was pregnant. Which was impossible because Damon had definitely wore a condom. Yet Katherine had insisted he was the father and swore that the condom had broke.

She showed up at his house every day after that, always wanting and needing something. She was always hungry. She always needed some money. She was the exact embodiment of a gold-digger.

Damon finally caught onto her lies when he insisted that he sit in on her first ultrasound and the doctor had informed them that Katherine wasn't pregnant.

He had dumped her immediately. And that was when all the crazy shit started to happen. Slashed tires, sugar in his tank, his car got scratched up by a key. His dorm got broken into.

Katherine would randomly pop up at his house everyday to yell at him and then beg him to take her back. She would fight and terrorize any girl she caught coming out of his apartment, or that she knew was hanging out with him. Threaten to kill her if he didn't take her back, and even threaten to kill _him._

And she did, she tried to kill him. She tried to run him over with her black Jetta after seeing him leave the restaurant with some girl.

He had filed a restraining order on her. A police report, and tried to get her locked up. But he couldn't provide any concrete evidence that she had been the one driving that car that night, it was his word against hers.

Her stalking finally stopped when she found a boyfriend, a new obsession.

_So why was she here?_

"Damonkins, My diddly dumpkin. I know you're in there" She cooed in a singsong voice her knocking becoming even more insistent.

_Fuck._

He quickly moved away from the peephole and away from the door. Attempting to be stealthy and light-footed so that she wouldn't hear him.

Suddenly a key slipped into the lock, the knob slowly turning.

_She had a key?_

_How the hell did that crazy bitch get a key? He was definitely changing the locks on the door as soon as possible._

Damon was quickly galvanized into action as he silently ran into Jeremy's room.

He heard the front door open.

His breathing decayed. His heart raced.

Katherine would find him in here just standing out in the open space he had to hide. He twisted the unlocked bathroom door open where Elena was showering.

"Damon? Is that you" Elena poked her head out from behind the shower curtain.

"Sssh" Damon pressed his fingers to lips in an attempt to silence Elena.

She stared at him as if he had lost his mind. He wished that were the case, because maybe then he could pretend that Katherine wasn't real.

Oh but she was real indeed and she was quickly advancing in the direction of Jeremy's room.

"Who is that?" Elena attempted to modestly cover up her nudity behind the shower curtain.

It was useless though, because Damon dove into the shower with her.

"Crazy bitch alert!" He whispered pointing his finger towards the door.

Elena bit back the urge to scream, as she attempted to wrap her nudity up with the shower curtain.

Damon kept his gaze at eye-level afraid of how his body would react if he dared to look down.

The door that was violently shoved open jerked both of their attention to it and made Damon still in terror. Katherine was fucking scary.

Elena popped her head out from behind the shower curtain.

"What are you doing in here" She affected an expression of outrage as she glared at Katherine, pretending to be shocked.

"Who the hell are you?" The brunette with the perfect curls and garish red lipstick glared angrily at Elena.

Elena couldn't help but notice how pretty the girl was.

"Who the hell are _you_?" Elena parroted.

"I asked first" Katherine lifted her arched brows crossly.

"Yeah but you're the stranger standing in _my _brother's bathroom."

"Jeremy's your brother?"

"Ding. Ding. Ding." Elena rejoined sarcastically.

"Cute. Anyways I'm looking for my boyfriend Damon have you seen him? That's his car parked outside right?" Damon rolled his eyes disgustedly at the sound of Katherine referring to him as her boyfriend.

The Bitch was seriously full-blown Norman Bates psycho.

And Damon was instantly grateful for the black fabric shower curtain that shielded him from her.

"Yeah he left for class not too long ago. And I think it's something wrong with his car which is why he's not driving it" Elena lied.

"Well if you see him, will you tell him his Kitty Kat is looking for him?" Katherine sashayed out of the bathroom and out the front door.

It took everything Elena not to vomit at her vulgar sex reference.

"_Seriously_. Kitty Kat?" Elena hissed at Damon who was silently shaking with mirth amused by the whole encounter.

Elena glared at him disbelievingly through the pelts of water that streamed down from the showerhead.

Damon couldn't hold it anymore. He burst out laughing loudly.

"That-" He wheezed trying to catch his breath in between laughs so that he could speak.

"That was hilarious"

"Yeah it was _hysterical_. Now please leave." Elena murmured dryly angrily reaching out to strike his shoulder.

Reflexively, his hand shot up to catch her tiny wrist in its grip as he jerked her to him.

Her soft wet body crashed into his, her breasts molding against the damp fabric of his black shirt. The hot water streaming down on them as they breathed heavily.

"You know. You should _really _learn to keep your hands to yourself." He warned, his voice soft and beguiling.

She shivered at his tone, yanking her wrist back. It struck her suddenly that she was playing a dangerous game with him by standing naked with him in the shower. A game that _she _was determined to win. In the vain hope that he would finally stop seeing her as little girl and recognize her for the woman she was.

He reached out his hands to cup her face lightly, her breath held.

His eyes held her captive with his eyes, intent and predatory, his lips curving into a slow smile as his fingers drew a path along the curve of her arm.

"How would _you _like it if I just put my hands on you whenever I felt like it" His fingertips gently skimming the skin of her arms, leaving delicious thrills of pleasure and anticipation in their wake.

His mind abandoning all sense of logic, any slivers of guilt, as his fingers glided sensually and unhurriedly down the sides of her waist.

Releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding she gripped the collar of his shirt "I'd like it very much".

The last vestiges of his control dissolved into thin as he grasped her small waist pushing her against the wall of the shower.

He was so hard for her. It pushed against his boxers and the fabric of his jeans begging for a release. Aching with need, a need for her.

He needed to taste her. He needed to see if the reality of her measured up to the dream of her.

Damon leaned down and touched his lips to hers, capturing them in a sweet embrace, hungry and demanding. White-hot passion coiled through her, her fingers curling inward in his collar as she rubbed up against him.

Wanting to be closer to him, wanting to consume herself with him.

Her breath escaped in a dizzying rush, mingling with his, their tongues dancing to a rhythm that they had created. A wicked thrill sizzled through her; she had discovered the ultimate high in Damon's drugging kisses.

Every nerve on her body tingled, her heart slammed against her ribcage, butterflies danced in her stomach, and she could feel herself pulsating down there.

Jumping onto him she wrapped her legs around his waist. His fingers squeezed the flesh of her legs " I want you so bad. So fucking bad" His voice was hoarse with need as he punctuated his words by grinding into her.

"Then have me," She moaned against his lips, matching the tempo of his undulating hips with her own.

His fingers slid into her slick wet tight heat, one finger, two finger, and setting off a slow thrust.

Her body shivered uncontrollably, the spasms of pleasure spiraling through her as she grinded against his hand. Fucking his hand.

"Damon" Jeremy's voice called out loudly ripping through the their sexual haze.

"Shit!" Damon hissed scrambling quickly out of the shower, and running over to the door to lock it.

"Oh my god!" Elena panicked bolting out of the shower to wildly search for her clothes.

Damon flung his boxers at her in an attempt to help her out; she quickly stepped into the oversized blue shorts. Her movements jerky as she shook out the bath towel to look for the t-shirt Damon had given her earlier.

Jeremy's footsteps travelled from the front room to his room, nearing the bathroom.

"Fuck. This is bad" Damon whispered pacing anxiously back and forth, his fingers digging into his lank damp hair.

"I can't find my shirt. I can't find my shirt" Her voice flustered as she desperately yanked stuff out of the way to find her shirt.

"Elena? Is that you? What are you doing here? Why is this door locked?" The doorjamb began twisting, the lock holding the door in its place.

"Answer him!" Damon hissed quietly.

" Is someone in there with you? Huh? Open the door Elena! Whose in there with you!" Jeremy's voice rose to a shout, as he forcefully pushed against the door and lurched at the knob. The door shaking with intensity as Jeremy pushed against it

"No one!" Elena responded.

The door was suddenly hurled open as it ripped off its hinges, splinters of wood flying everywhere.

Jeremy's crazed stare took one look at his topless sister and his best friend and instantly he knew what was going on.

Damon had touched Elena. He had put his hands on _his_ Elena, _his_ little baby sister. _He was going to fucking kill him._

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Its not's what it looks like" Damon stammered throwing up his hands.

Jeremy didn't bother to listen for his explanation as he rammed into Damon, knocking him straight through the shower curtains and into the tub. The gold shower hooks were ripped down from their pole with the force of Jeremy's blow as they scattered all over the place.

Elena screamed, clasping her hand over her mouth in disbelief.

Jeremy and Damon landed on the porcelain floor of the tub with a loud thud, Jeremy grabbing Damon up by his shirt collar.

"This is for my sister you dick!" Jeremy's crushing blow connected with Damon's jaw.

"Jeremy Stop, Please. Nothing happened. I swear. He was only in here because he was hiding out from Katherine" Elena cried the tears streaming down her face as she struggled to pull the two apart.

They just kept tussling; Jeremy was too livid to listen, too livid to comprehend anything beyond inflicting the ultimate pain on Damon.

_This was a nightmare._

* * *

** OMG! What do you guys think about 4x02? Wasn't the DE scene just incredible? I nearly had a heart attack. I can't wait for 4x04 I just know that it's going to be great. DE forever :)**

**Oh and please feel free to check out my other DE story When A Lady Misbehaves. If you like this one I know you'll _love_ that story.**


	5. Always & Forever

I'd like to thank everyone who took their time to comment and give their condolences. I'd also like to specially thank those who shared their own experiences with me as well. Death is never an easy subject to discuss or deal with. Also I've decided I won't be rewriting the entire story but simply editing a couple of the parts I dislike. It wouldn't be fair to the readers for me to simply leave you all hanging and start all over again. I'm just being overly critical and I should really just stop. But thank you all from the bottom of my heart and your words of kindness and encouragement mean the WORLD to me. So much in fact that I rushed home after work to update for you guys.

**Chapter Five**

**Always & Forever**

**There's nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but there's no sound**

**Isn't anyone trying to find me?**

**Won't somebody come take me home?**

**It's a damn cold night**  
**Trying to figure out this life**  
**Won't you take me by the hand?**  
**Take me somewhere new**  
**I don't know who you are**  
**But I... I'm with you**

* * *

Elena uselessly tried to pry the angry two apart silently wishing that she had followed her first inclination to run away from the scene. Running away from her problems had become instinctive to her and not giving a shit about anything had become her usual reflex. But this time around she felt compelled to actually do something and face her problems. Maybe Damon was right maybe there was hope for her yet.

Gritting her teeth she moved in closer to the fray and squared her tiny shoulders, yanking and pulling hard at Jeremy's shirt.

Her sudden movements sent Jeremy careening backwards across the bathroom floor and into the threshold of his room.

"Stay out of this Elena" Jeremy warned.

"Cut it out! What if the Campus police hears you two fighting and you get kicked out?"

"Like you actually give a shit! This is your fault Elena. Every single time I try to help you it comes back and bites me in the ass" Jeremy spat angrily, wiping the blood from his cut lip.

"Jeremy please-" Tears formed in Elena's eyes as she stared at her brother pleadingly, desperate to hold on to one of the few people she had left.

"No Elena! I'm sick of this shit. I'm so SICK of you. You ruin everything. You don't care about anyone but yourself. What happened to you?" Jeremy laughed disbelievingly, shaking his head with disgust.

"Hey. Leave her alone Jeremy" Damon intervened, his eyes full of concern as they focused on Elena.

"Am I talking to you?" Jeremy sneered at Damon.

"No but you don't have to talk to her like that"

"Why don't you just mind your own goddamn business?"

"Why don't you make me?" Damon shoved hard at Jeremy's chest.

Quickly, Elena wedged herself in the space between the two boys before her brother could even think to retaliate.

"Stop it you two!" She placed the palms of her hand on both boys chest in a maneuver to hold them off. The blood soaked bandages on her wrist instantly catching Jeremy's eye. Roughly, he seized her small pale hand and clutched it tightly.

"What happened to your wrist Elena?" His obsidian eyes bored into hers, searching for answers.

She met his gaze, disturbed at what she found.

Disappointment.

Disgust.

She wasn't a stranger to both. They were both emotions that she had become used to seeing in people's eyes. She just never thought that'd she see them mirrored in her brothers eyes. It was a crushing blow. Elena stared speechlessly at her brother and slowly peeled her hand away from his grasp. It was a while before she was able to formulate an answer.

"I-I-I" She stuttered.

"Tell me it's not what I think it is. Tell me you aren't cutting yourself" Jeremy frowned. His gaze was judgmental and accusatory.

_She couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in on her. She had to get out of here._

Elena turned to run, her feet moving as fast as they could. She yanked the door open and went running out into the cold whipping air, praying her feet would carry her far away from her brother and his judgments.

"Nice job asshole" Damon snarled at Jeremy before taking after Elena.

The icy rain was relentless as it immediately ripped into Damon's skin. He shivered reflexively in response and willed his self not to think about how cold it was. He had to catch up with Elena. He had to make sure that she was Ok and didn't go off and do something stupid.

"Elena wait! " He yelled at her back, annoyed at how fast she was running. His chest was wheezing and constricting with pain and he was out of breath.

"Come on are you really gonna keep making me chase you Jailbait. I'm dying here " Damon said in between wheezing breaths.

"Just go away Damon."

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I can't"

"Why!" Elena yelled angrily, running faster.

"Because I care OK!" Damon yelled back.

Elena stopped running and quickly turned to face him. Her eyes riveted to him as they searched his stare for some type of contempt, some type of disgust. But she found nothing. His eyes were full of nothing but concern and exhaustion. And then suddenly Elena felt tired too. She felt more tired than she had ever felt in her 15 years of living.

She was tired of running. Tired of pretending that the things that hurt her didn't. Tired of being strong. Tired of being weak.

She began crying. She couldn't control her tears and she didn't want to. For once, she just wanted someone to be strong for her, to abandon herself completely to weakness and just cry and feel helpless without being ashamed.

Suddenly she felt Damon's arm wrap around tightly as he hugged her fiercely.

"That's right. Let it all out" He urged her in a comforting whisper, stroking her hair softly.

Sobs shook her body as she continued to soundly cry, squeezing Damon as tightly as she could.

They stood there for a while, relishing in the silence. For a few minutes the world fell away, time was suspended, and nothing existed but them and their fledgling newly formed understanding.

They both understood what it was like to be alone. What it was like to be misunderstood. To pretend that they didn't care about what anyone thought when deep inside they were both dying for acceptance. But mostly they _finally_ understood how much alike they were.

She knew that she was in love all by herself but couldn't help wanting him and that she was too fucked up for someone as good as him. And he knew that she was Jeremy's kid sister and strictly off limits, it was against the friendship code, and certainly against the law. Plus, She was too damaged and destructive, all she would do is bring him down with her.

Yet despite the many reasons they both knew they couldn't work, that didn't stop either one of them from wishing that they could.

"It's cold as hell out here" Damon remarked randomly, trying to lighten the mood and distract himself from his thoughts.

"That must be the reason I've lost all the feeling in my toes" Elena smiled.

"Let's get out of here before we freeze to death. Besides I think we're creating a scene" He nodded his head towards the group of people staring at them curiously.

Elena blushed " Oh my god I'm so embarrassed"

"You? Embarrassed? I never thought I'd live to see the day"

"Shut up. Didn't you just meet me earlier today? "

"Seriously though lets get out of here. You hungry?"

"I'm starving. I think the last time I ate was yesterday afternoon" Elena rubbed her growling stomach with a frown.

"Don't tell me you're bulimic too?"

"Hahaha Real funny asshole" Elena playfully punched Damon in the arm as the two of them walked in the direction of his car.

* * *

The local college diner was crowded and nearly filled to capacity. It was so crammed and loud that Damon and Elena could barely hear themselves think or let alone order their food.

"I'll have a cheeseburger with fries and an iced water for my drink" Damon instructed as the platinum blonde skinny waitress scribbled his order down.

"And for your friend" The blonde asked him, a flirtatious smile curving her lips as her eyes watched him intently.

"I can speak for myself," Elena snapped, glaring at the waitress.

"Oh right, what are you having?" The blonde's tone was snide and rife with attitude.

"I'll have the chicken tenders and fries with a Pepsi if that's not too much to ask" Elena snarled sarcastically. The waitress shot her a fake tight-lipped smile before walking away to put in their orders.

"What was that all about?" Damon smirked.

"She was practically eye-fucking you"

"Language jailbait! "

"What are you my brother now" Elena muttered sardonically, still bristling at the way the blonde had been staring at _her _Damon.

"Speaking of brothers. You know Jeremy didn't mean any of that earlier right?" Damon's eyes bore into hers reassuringly, grasping her hand and squeezing it gently.

Elena fixed her gaze on a spot on the table, not wanting to meet Damon's stare. He didn't understand. He couldn't possibly. They came from two different worlds. He came from a big wealthy tight-knit family. She was from a middle-class broken home.

It was one of the many things that she had admired about him. Unlike her, his family loved him and they were all super close with another. She would always see Damon, his brother Stefan, and their father Giuseppe out in public together laughing and embracing each other. She had yearned for that type of closeness.

Jeremy and Elena had been close once upon a time but there was only so much closeness that they could have given their four-year age difference. He often treated her like a pesky little sister or with an overbearing protectiveness. They would talk and have heart to hearts some times but they still weren't as close as she would have liked them to be. After the accident, the small rift between them had gotten much larger.

In Elena's opinion it was beyond repair at this point

"He hates me" Elena finally responded.

"That's ridiculous he doesn't hate you. You just piss him off most of the time. You piss _me_ off most of the time." He grinned.

"I'm serious Damon. My brother hates me. My dad does too. He kicked me out this morning and that's why I came here"

"You crashed his car! He's just pissed at you right now."

"He actually told me hated me. He said that it should've been me that died in that car instead of my mom. And then he physically threw me outside." Elena fought the urge to cry, she was so sick of crying today.

"He said that to you?" Jeremy's voice queried from behind her. Elena turned to see her brother standing behind her and looking down at her with concern.

Elena shot Damon a biting glare " You called him? When?"

"I text him. Don't be mad Elena he just wants to talk to you" Damon softly pleaded, he was just trying to help.

"What are you even doing here? I thought I ruined your life" Elena folded her arms angrily over her chest, avoiding Jeremy's eyes.

Jeremy sighed heavily and moved to slide into the booth next to his sister. He wasn't quite sure where to begin or how to reach her but he had to at least try. She was his sister and regardless of what she did to him he would never stop loving her or wanting to protect her. Things between them had been tense lately because Elena was determined to scream her feelings and anguish to world and he was determined to silence his and keep them bottled up inside.

It was easier for him to not think about the pain of losing his mother, to pretend that he didn't see just how out control his sister had gotten. Everything was easier for him if he just pretended that it didn't exist.

Jeremy still wasn't quite ready to battle his own demons but that didn't mean he couldn't help Elena to fight hers.

"I was angry earlier and I said some things I shouldn't have. I said some things I didn't mean. You didn't ruin my life. You're the reason I live. You and Anna are all I have left Elena. You mean everything to me and that's why it hurts to see you like this. You're better than this Elena. You're stronger too. And you're sure as hell too smart to be getting mixed up with drugs and alcohol. And I should've said something a long time ago before it even got this far but I was too caught up in my own shit and for that I apologize. I should've been there for you. I promised Mom that I would always be there for you and I wasn't. But I promise you. I swear to you I'm going to help you get through this. We're gonna fight this together" Jeremy vowed his eyes watery with tears.

Elena threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I love you Jer always" She recited a childhood saying that the two of them had created specially.

"Forever" He responded and hugged her back just as tightly.

And for a moment things were Ok.

* * *

So I know that chapter was a little sappy with a lot of crying but Elena needed some love FINALLY! I really wanted to write a bonding scene between her and Jeremy because I love their relationship on the show.

Do you guys think Elena is going to change anytime soon? Or that Jeremy's help with help her?


	6. Fifteen

**Chapter Six**

**I'm 15 for a moment  
Caught in between 10 and 20  
And I'm just dreaming  
Counting the ways to where you are**

* * *

He had fucked up. He had violated just about every code in the friendship handbook. He'd been so close to sleeping with her. And fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how one chose to look at it, Jeremy had intervened and stopped him.

_He could still smell her scent on his fingers, still taste her moans, and feel her quivering beneath him._

Get it together Damon. She's off limits. He tried to convince himself, but the logic wouldn't seem to stick.

"We need to talk" Jeremy's grudging tone jarred Damon from his reverie. His foreboding form pushed through a sea of the people as he moved to close the distance between him and Damon.

_He needed to talk to him, to let him know that all wasn't forgiven just because he had text him._

Damon who stood bathed in the inky night air, turned to see his roommate approaching him with a guarded expression. He sighed audibly, immediately blasted with the air of awkward tension that had settled between them. A presence that was so thick and depressing that he had fled the diner and walked out to the parking lot in an attempt to escape its gloom.

It had found him though. There was no more putting it off. _Well he had to deal with it eventually. Might as well rip off the proverbial Band-Aid and come right out and say it._

"I fucked up earlier" Damon rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He kept his gaze downcast, afraid of meeting Jeremy's glare, as his shoe absently kicked the blacktop of the parking lot ground.

"Yeah you did" Jeremy replied shortly, his expression grim and unrelenting.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry! -" Jeremy shouted, shaking his head back and forth and struggling to compose himself, his body stiff with anger.

"She's my sister Damon. My _SISTER! _You completely crossed the line"

"I know. I know. I fucked up Jeremy." Damon conceded, not even bothering to defend himself. There was no defense. He deserved every bit of the verbal punishment that his friend was meting out to him.

"She's not just some random girl that you can treat like shit. She's my sister! She deserves better." Jeremy paced back and forth, his nostrils flaring with anger.

"I know she does. It won't happen again-"

"You damn right it won't happen again!" Jeremy shouted in Damon's face, tempted to hit him again, his blood still boiling at the imagery of Damon touching his baby sister.

"I don't know what to say man. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry"

"Sorry isn't enough. Sorry doesn't change anything" Jeremy shoved him forcefully.

Staggering slightly, Damon stared sadly at his friend "So what are you saying? You saying you want me to move out?"

"No." Jeremy responded quickly, trying to sort through his feelings. What _was_ he saying? Inundated with anger and conflicting emotions he wasn't really sure how to feel. What he was sure of though, was that he felt _betrayed._

He and Damon had been friends since sophomore year. Their relationship had endured its share of trials and tribulations. They had argued more times than he could count and annoyed each other constantly. But despite their minor differences they loved one another, trusted one another, and thought of each other as brothers. Damon had been the one to help him score his first piece of ass, Damon had taught him how to talk to girls, how to throw a ball just right. He had also been the one to help him through the grief of losing his mother.

Their friendship had seen it all, done it all, experienced it all, and through it all it had prevailed. They balanced each other out perfectly. Where Jeremy was serious and stodgy, Damon was easy going and exciting. They both taught each other how to view things from a different perspective and to be open to learning new things. Damon was his brother. And even though he was pissed at him, he didn't want to lose his friendship.

"No. I'm not saying you have to move out. I'm saying I want you to stay the fuck away from my sister. Don't talk to her. Don't text her. Don't go anywhere near her. You understand?" It was a simple enough request, a reasonable one even, yet the clenching in Damon's chest made it seem like the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life.

So that was it. He was supposed to just walk away from the one person in the world that made him feel unlike anyone else, just turn it off. Just ignore the primitive need to protect her. His instinctive urge to fix her. Just like that.

Jeremy's ultimatum hovered above his head like an anvil just waiting to drop. The pressure of it making his palms sweat, his throat tight.

"Yeah I understand" He finally spoke the words he had been dreading, not really seeing any other options.

She was too young. She was his best friends sister. She was screwed up. She wasn't for him.

This was the right thing to do

* * *

**2 years later.**

Despite her best efforts, Elena couldn't shake the nervousness she felt. Checking her curled hair for what seemed like the hundredth time, she smoothed the askew bits of frizzy hair, ensuring that every strand was just right. She hadn't seen him in two years and she wanted to look her best.

"Would you stop messing with your hair already! You look fine. Bonnie will you tell her she looks fine." Elena's best friend Caroline exclaimed, her blue eyes flashing with irritation.

Slathering another coat of her MAC lip-gloss on her lips, Elena pressed her lips together and moved them until the lacquer was set in its place. Her primping not even close to being finished, she had to look perfect. To show him what he had passed up. What he was missing out on.

She wanted him to _burn _for her. To pay for the endless nights she had spent crying over him, to beg for her, to feel even just a fraction of the misery he had caused her.

She wasn't going to have it any other way.

Bonnie squeezed her hand reassuringly from the passenger seat "You look great Elena. Stefan won't able to keep his hands off of you" It wasn't Stefan she was worried about though, He was just the bait that she was using to hook the big fish. Stefan was just collateral damage but Damon was who she was fixating on.

_Damon Salvatore _the asshole that had spent the last two years purposefully avoiding her, the asshole that had ignored every single one of her calls and text messages. The one who had completely chosen to forget the way that they had bonded that day at the dorm.

Ok sure she wasn't expecting him to just throw caution to the wind and plunge into a relationship with her, but she had been expecting them to at least be friends. Which is why it had been so difficult to process the fact that he was just gone. That he had just vanished into thin air, exiting her life just as suddenly as he entered it.

She had questioned Jeremy about his whereabouts, even dropped by the dorm unexpectedly on a few occasions but there was no trace of him. A part of her had even questioned if that day she spent with him had been real or if she had just imagined it all. But even in her darkest hour she automatically knew the answer to that question. Damon had been real. The way that he had made her feel in the bathroom was real. Their bond had been real.

Obviously, it had just meant way more to her than it did to him.

"You ready to go inside yet? The ceremony starts in a few minutes" Caroline's question brought her back to reality and out of her trance.

Ever the stickler for punctuality, Caroline hated being late for anything. Everything had an order and a place, and Caroline's pedantic nature often ensured that it remained that way.

She was a control freak but Elena wouldn't have had her any other way.

"Come on before she gets started" Bonnie teased with a knowing smirk. She absolutely loved baiting Caroline. Come to think of it, Bonnie loved baiting everyone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Caroline shot her a pointed look, huffing in irritation.

"Nothing Care come on." Elena quickly thwarted a possible argument. She was the neutral voice in the triad friendship and often mediated the arguments between Caroline and Bonnie. And boy did they argue! Both were strong and opinionated and often felt compelled to get their point of view across.

The girls exited the car and walked past the sprawling manicured lawns and up to the entrance of the hall.

Grayson and Esther stood at the top of the concrete steps waiting to greet the girls.

"So glad that you could finally make it" Grayson sneered derisively at Elena, his gaze arctic enough to freeze hell.

Caroline and Bonnie shifted uncomfortably in their heels, feeling as though they were imposing on a family moment.

"Grayson" Esther chided with a tight smile "We said we wouldn't do this today. Today isn't about her. This is Jeremy's day sweety". Esther rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, attempting to ease the tautness in it.

Grayson took a deep breath and released it, trying to rein the bitter emotions he felt towards his daughter. It was hard though. She was always testing him, always pushing his buttons.

"I guess I can't do anything right. No matter what I do you're upset." Elena carped.

It was no use in getting upset though. She should've been used to it by now. He was always mad at her. In his eyes she could no right.

With the continued support of her brother Jeremy she had cleaned up her act, gotten off of drugs, improved her grades, and even joined the cheerleading team and school paper. Yet none of it had been good enough for her father. He continued to regard her with suspicious eyes that were always waiting for her to screw up, for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the opportune moment to prevent its self, so that he could tell her "I told you so".

"Can we not do this today? You two can go at each other's throats some other time. This is Jeremy's day. Lets not ruin it for him" Esther intervened, her flawless skin splotchy and red with anger.

Wordlessly, Elena agreed with a silent nod of her head. She didn't come here to argue. They had plenty of time to do that. She was here as a show of support. Here to congratulate her brother on finishing school and graduating magna cum laude.

In a strained quietness, the group walked to the courtyard and took their seats near the stage.

The Darden School of Business graduation was a beautiful ceremony full of moving speeches, proud parents sniffling, and touching moments. When at last the dean began calling the students to the stage to accept their degrees, Elena's shoulders hunched in trepidation, her heartbeat accelerating.

"Jeremy Gilbert" The attractive young black dean called out, smiling brightly at Jeremy as she handed him his diploma.

Elena and her family clapped heartily, Esther cried, Bonnie whistled ridiculously as they all cheered Jeremy on, genuinely proud of his success.

"See your brother understands the value of hard work and discipline. You could learn a thing or two from him," Grayson whispered to Elena, his eyes glimmering with pride as they followed Jeremy's movements across the stage.

Elena grounded hard against the bone of her teeth nearly turning them to dust as she fought the urge to respond to her father. Elena shook her head in disbelief, Her fingernails digging into the skin of her palms and leaving little half moons in their wake.

"Ignore him. He's an ass," Caroline whispered in her ear, giving her a small smile and holding out her hand. Elena interlaced her fingers with hers, squeezing her friends soft warm hand.

During her recovery, Caroline would tell her to squeeze her hand as bad as she wanted the drugs. She remembered squeezing her wan hand until it turned blue, trying to fight against the cravings that coursed through her.

It had been a silly idea but it worked. Maybe it was the knowledge that someone was literally _holding _her hand through the healing process, or maybe it was just the fact the fact that someone was there for her in general. Whatever it was, it had done wonders for her. It was her fail-safe to this day, and no matter how angry she was whenever one of her friends held her hand and allowed her to squeeze, it helped her to feel better.

"Damon Salvatore" The presenter of the diplomas called out. Elena's head swiveled to the stage, her heart lodged in her throat, her palms sweaty.

Damon dispersed from the crowd of seated graduates, his tousle dangling and swinging in front of his face, his mouth curved into a smile. Everything about him was the same and somehow different. His hair was still brown and messy. His eyes still blue, his gait still cocky. His smile still teasing and assured. But his shoulders had filled out and were now deliciously brawny. A five o clock shadow now dusted across his face. He was _amazing and if possible more beautiful than he had been before. B_oyish charm had given way to virilesexiness. And the impact of it all nearly undid Elena. This was too much.

She felt fifteen all over again.

Damon walked onto the podium, accepted his diploma, and shook the Deans hand.

His smile was radiant and contagious as his eyes perused the crowd before him, searching for his family. Instead they landed on a familiar stranger.

The smile instantly slipped from it's place, their eyes connected and held. The electricity between them sparked, the world disappeared.

It was still there.

Even after two years.

_Shit. _He was in trouble.

* * *

**Ok this was seriously the chapter from hell! I had a massive writers block. My mind went about 100 different places with the storyline. I tried to upload it from WORD but it wouldn't upload. Fanfiction immediately double-spaced EVERY line. Just OMG! I'm so annoyed. Plus I don't know how to feel about this chapter.**

**I hope you all enjoy it though. I haven't had time to correct the grammar so excuse it and I promise I'll correct the glaring mistakes. Also, I edited the earlier chapters. Chapter 2 was revised DRASTICALLY because that was the chapter that just really bothered me. I hope you all enjoy the revision.**

**I'll update after 20 reviews! and if we hit 30 I'll update even faster :) Not trying to threaten you guys for reviews or anything but your feedback means the world to me. Even one line of positivity or constructive criticism makes my day.**

**ALSO I just really wanted to take a moment to thank you all so much. Your feedback means the world to me. Its pretty incredible to have people interested in reading what I write and the things that come from my imagination. Thanks for sticking with me through all the obvious grammar errors, angsty chapters, and long periods in between updates. You're all so amazing and I love you for supporting my work :)**


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